Look what happens when I repair leaks instead of frequenting this forum, interesting threads break out and I'm not a part of them! Waaahhh... What can I say that hasn't already been said? I guess just my observations...
I agree with Postergirl in that we want sincere guys, not smooth talkers. We see and define "smooth talkers" as charming guys who will say anything to get what they want, whether what they say is true or not. Dishonesty is distasteful, as is insincerity.
That being said, there is also truth in what the guys are saying. People in general (not just girls) respond better to a person who can hold a conversation. There was one time, back in the day, when I was participating in a small campus forum kind of like this one. One guy's posts seem very intelligent, thoughtful and quite on par with my way of thinking. We emailed back and forth and had long discussions about various things. We decided to meet in person because he seemed interesting. He wasn't scary or anything in person, but he was sooooo obviously uncomfortable with himself that it made me uncomfortable. He spoke in a very quiet voice and in stilted sentences. I'm sure he was nervous, but I've never seen anyone so awkward. It made me feel awkward as well and I just wanted to get out of there. It was so unexpected considering the volumes we were able to "speak" online.
The important thing isn't saying what you think the other person wants to hear (smooth talking), but to be comfortable with yourself. Yes this does include confidence, and it's hard to come by. I myself was a gibbering idiot until I finished high school. Then I started to be aware of what I'd accomplished, what I was capable of doing. I was focusing on what I had and my achievements instead of what I did not or could not do. I started feeling better about myself and it shows. People will notice. |